Light At the Core of Darkness...

Christy asked me yesterday to repost what I had written on Facebook about the grieving process and anger. Here is my response:

I think we have a fear, in this New Age milieu, of whether things are too painful to bring up, but if we can go into the pain for the purpose of coming out on the other side, not to wallow... I feel that can be so healing. And we spiral back to some issues again and again, healing more subtly each time. I guess it's like the Mandalas. 

Traditionally, you would paint them from the outside to the inside, getting from the bhupur to the bind...the point of it all which is: that drop of love. Even the mandalas of Dhumavati and Shani, of smoke, death and darkness that have light at their core, love at the center of what seems like chaos, destruction, death and darkness. Not utter darkness, which is so different, abysmal even, but true darkness which has light at it's core, just like the yin aspect of the yin yang symbol.

I'll want to say something about that, so it's more obvious that the intent is not to dwell, not to stay in pain...again, I need to condense. I am so grateful that my words have any effect, are of any help to anyone besides me. Many people are saying this now, and encouraging me to write. Even to self-publish. I am a little surprised, shocked even. I've always thought I just rambled to hear myself talk and get it out. I've felt guilt about speaking out, been afraid to speak. Now, not so much.

I really want to play and paint with the Mandala group. I have a friend, Danielle who might like to join too...

Looking now at this interpretation in the photo above of Alice in Wonderland, thinking again of my being drawn to essential oils and perfumes in this process of healing, and of Black Phoenix Alchemy's Alice-In-Wonderland collection of oil blends, I feel as if the dark flowers in the garden are blooming, but waiting to be colored in, to be tinted like an old photograph. I think of Wim Wender's movie: "Wings of Desire" and the way the angel fell in love with the trapeze artist and fell to earth through the black-and-white of his world...to find color. It isn't all black and white.

I think too, of the story of Krishna as baby Gopala in the Hindu scriptures, and how his mother caught him stealing butter. When she opened his mouth to look inside, she saw the whole universe, because the butter and everything in it belong to all of us. We are all worthy of everything the universe has to offer, because we are the universe. Each and every one of us. To believe otherwise is concentrated ego with no light to illuminate the darkness. I look at the image of The Cheshire cat, and think of those sparkling white teeth opening like baby Gopala's mouth to reveal the universe in all it's splendor and color!!!!! Brilliant Light. Illumination. Technicolor world we love & live in....

We've fallen down the rabbit hole, through daath, or da'ath, the 'gift' from both the Hebrew and the modern Sanksrit language variation of Gurmukhi that resides in the Siri Guru Granth Sahib, the Sikh Holy book. We've fallen into this world of darkness and light, of polarity. Just as Yogi Bhajan said: "All this life is your gift. The tragedy and pain are as sweet as nectar."